To Change
by suebsas
Summary: When she believed her parent's death to be her faults', she threw away her old life and takes up tennis. Though they were both music and tennis was her passion she could not forget about her previous life before the incident. Stuck in the darkness, can someone pick up the shards of her heart and show her the way to happiness? RECONSIDERING PLOT- HAITUS
1. To accept change

Note: several things are quoted from a book and I do not own the characters from Prince of Tennis, only the plot is mine.

**1.**

**To accept change**

The only constant in life is change.

In nature, in society, in relationships, at work,

things change.

And they change constantly.

See it as part of the larger picture,

as normal.

Don't fight it.

Adapt to it.

It was the sound of violin that woke Echizen Ryoma from sleep. She was taking a nap on the tree after skipping her afternoon class to wait for her afternoon tennis practice. She peaked through her Fila cap irritated at the 'noise'. It seems that the music section of the school had finally started their afternoon lesson. She threw herself down to the floor and grabs her tennis bag and proceeds to the tennis court. She cursed in her mind at the location of the tennis court at Seishun Gakuen or Seigaku, the school she was attending.

The bell rang at the time she reached the tennis court and she hurriedly went to change in the locker room before anyone came. It wouldn't do herself good if anyone found out that the famous cocky and cool freshmen tennis prodigy was a girl. She tightened her bandage around her breasts and put her tennis clothes on. Her long dark green hair was tied up in a low pony tail and her forever Fila cap was placed snuggly on her head as the other regulars came in to the locker room to change.

Fuji sempai was the first to notice his kouhai's mood, Echizen was irritated and he could see with his sharp eye. "Saaa Echizen, what irritated you today?" he asked in his forever serene voice, forever closed eyes and smile plastered on his face that would send a shiver down anyone's spine.

"Eh? Eh! Ochibi is irritated? Did anyone bully you nyaa?~" said Kikumaru sempai who ran over and gave Echizen a hug that choked her out of her breath. "Oh no. Echizen, if something is making you feel bad you should tell someone. What if you get a headache? Oh no I think we should deal with it before Echizen gets a health problem." said Oishi sempai, worrying like a mother as usual while prying Kikumaru off her as her face was turning blue from the air loss.

Ryoma sent a quick irritated look to his sempais, especially Fuji for bringing the topic up in the first place. The tensai only smiled at her with his 'tensai smile' so she replied them with 'his' usual stoic look "Betsuni" and walk out of the locker room with her racket in hand.

After the practice Echizen Ryoma walk back to his home after a quick change on the way back in a public bathroom. She never used the locker room when the regulars were there because they would simply find out that 'he' is actually a 'she'. She only gave them a stoic look and with the ba-chan coach Ryuuzaki agreeing with her they couldn't do anything but accept the reason that it was personal.

Ryuusaki sensei was one of the people who knew that Echizen Ryoma was a girl. She was actually her father's coach and tennis teacher when he was in Seigaku years before. It amazed her that the old woman didn't die yet. The prospect of her father's teacher being her teacher was slightly disturbing. Ryuuzaki sensei could still yell at the students like nothing and serve when hard balls when she felt like it.

Another person who knew her gender was her best friend Ryuuzaki Sakuno, whom she knew since she was a kid because the Ryuuzaki and the Echizen were close. It didn't bother her when the kids at school spread the rumour that they were a couple since it would help with her disguise. For Sakuno though, it seems she had blushed terribly when her friend had asked her about it and denied the rumour.


	2. To remember

Note: several things are quoted from a book and I do not own the characters from Prince of Tennis, only the plot is mine.

**2.**

**To remember**

Our memories are a treasure trove-

our living photo album.

All the pivotal moments are captured there.

Even some we've jammed into the dark recesses.

Take time to visit your memories.

Spool through them.

Enjoy them.

Be sobered by them.

Learn from them.

Then add to them.

Her parents obviously know that she's a girl but sadly they had passed away in a plane hijacked crash incident a year ago. That was the reason why she moved back from America to her father's house here. Her mother was a kind woman and had always been patient with everything. Ryoma seemed to only inherit her cooking skills and beautiful looks, her other traits were of her father's side. Echizen Ryoma's father was the famous tennis pro player Samurai Nanjirou who shook the tennis world greatly when he began to win over 50 international professional matches consecutively. Almost to his rank as the top player of the world, he had announced that he would retire from tennis. Not many knew why but it was because his wife had given birth to Ryoma and he was intent to be at home to watch his child grow up. All the money he had won from all the matches was enough to provide the family with fortune without working.

Thinking about her parents had made her teary. She put on her stoic face and reminded herself that she would not cry. It was her fault that her parents had died in that accident. She didn't want to think about it and sucked up the emotions that threatened to crash her barrier she made. She entered the Japanese house she had inherited from her father on top of the hill where a shrine is located. Yes, her idiot father built their house next to an old shrine they owned. He even went to the trouble of building a tennis court at the back of the shrine so that he could play with his friends when he wanted.

Ryoma walk up the stairs of the shrine and enter her house. Her Himalayan cat greeted her as the cat notice that her master had returned home. Though Echizen Ryoma was 15, she was living alone. Actually her cousin Nanako had been living in this house with her but she was busy with college and only comes home during the weekends. Ryoma put her tennis bag down tiredly and went to the fridge to get something to eat. She groaned as she realised she had forgotten to buy dinner and went to the electric kettle to boil water because instant noddle was the few things she was capable of doing right now with her body aching everywhere.

Anyone walking in to the Echizen household would exclaim at the large interior. Despite the traditional Japanese architecture, the interior was surprisingly spacious, bright, and decorated with temporary mix of traditional Japanese and modern European household. In the hall way was various picture frames of her mom, her idiot father Samurai Nanjirou and some lighter coloured spaces on the wall which used to be occupied by pictures of herself playing 'it' but 'it' caused her too much pain that she had slammed it down one day and locked away the others never wanting to see it again.

There are two living rooms in the house, one was traditional Japanese and the other was modern with couches and TVs for daily use. That was connected to the kitchen and dining room which is now devoid of food because Ryoma had forgot to buy groceries in. There's a study across the corridor, a shoe cabinet, a locked music room she'd rather not talk about and a stair case going to the second floor. Second floor was bedrooms, Nanako's bedroom, her parent's old bedroom- locked away, two bathrooms and her own bedroom. Ryoma took a quick shower and collapsed on to her soft bed and fell asleep in no time, even though she had been sleeping through her classes the entire day.


	3. To be a late developer

Note: several things are quoted from a book and I do not own the characters from Prince of Tennis, only the plot is mine.

**3.**

**To be a late developer**

Set your own time table.

Don't allow others to dictate your pace.

Bench marks are for average people.

You're an individual.

You have your own individual rate of growth.

Take the pressure off.

Allow things to develop naturally.

It's not important when you get there.

What makes it matters is that you get there.

The alarm clock sounded. Ryoma groaned aloud as she threw the alarm clock down on the floor stopping the annoying beeping. She went back to sleep only to be woken up five minutes later by Karupin, her Himalayan cat, as she climb up her face and lick it. Ryoma finally got up and went to the process of preparing herself for school. She was not a morning person and will never be. She was reminded again that she really needed to buy some groceries when she couldn't find anything to make breakfast. She groaned again running out of the house with her tennis bag and school bag when Momoshiro sempai yelled at her to hurry up or else they would get laps from the captain for being late again for practice.

She ran out of the house and sat on the back of Momo's bike and he pedaled them to school. Momo giggled as usual at the sleepy look on his kouhai's face in the morning, earning a cold look from Echizen in the process.

The day went by as usual and by lunch time Ryoma was already napping on the roof top of the school with a can of grape ponta brought from the loose change left in her pocket. Missing lunch because she had forgot to bring her wallet with her this morning; she blamed it on the music school's violin class yesterday. She despised classical music. It was one of the reasons why her parents had passed away leaving her alone.

Shaking her head mentally out of the thought, annoyed that she got mopey on such things, she went back to nap under the shade. While on the same time, her senpai tachis were looking for Echizen to have lunch together, finding her on the roof napping as usual and they had all thought 'kawaii' as they observe their kouhai sleeping serenely. Echizen's hat had fallen off some time ago and the senpais all saw the small tear falling down her cheek.


	4. To simplify your life

Note: several things are quoted from a book and I do not own the characters from Prince of Tennis, only the plot is mine.

Please feel free to comment on it. It is my first story so please don't mind the mistakes I may have made! Enjoy, the story gets better as it goes because I think I may have gotten in the hang of it. :)

**4.**

**To simplify your life**

Everyday our lives seem more entangled.

Balance is hard to find.

Locate your real priorities.

Untangle them.

Keep only the essentials.

Give away, or lose, the others.

The simple things are the most valuable.

The regulars were worried at what could cause their kouhai to cry in his sleep. Echizen wasn't the type of person to cry, even rarely show his emotions. But they did not want to wake Echizen up so they sat together eating lunch quietly. Inui was still writing down on his notebook as usual make several mumbles "lie data" when Echizen mumbled something in his sleep. Tezuka was sitting quietly straight back and eating his lunch with a stoic face. Fuji had a smile plastered on his face that made his teammates quiver because the smile meant that Fuji found something fun to do, and when the tensai found something fun it meant danger to everyone else. Momo and Kaido started arguing, Kaido hissed at Momo calling him 'baka' and Momo retorted calling Kaido 'baka' and 'peach head' back causing a commotion

Ryoma woke up and notice the noise around him. He gave his sempais a stoic look and sat up wiping the trace of her tears away, hoping no one had saw it. She pull the Fila cap down on her head. Tezuka threaten the two with laps and that made them quiet down. Ryoma's stomach grumbles on the quiet moment causing her to blush slightly. The senpais notice their kouhai without his lunch and shared theirs.

Oishi asked concerned why Echizen did not have his lunch with him, Ryoma explain plainly that he had 'forgotten' to stock the house with food and waved it as nothing. Oishi had found it weird that Echizen's house doesn't have anything to eat but trusted his kouhai at his word. On her other hand, Tezuka, Fuji and Inui had found it strange that the family did not provide their kouhai with food. Inui wrote this down on to his notebook while Tezuka kept in mind to keep an eye on his kouhai. Fuji was thinking about something. Oishi was still worried about Echizen crying in his sleep. Kikumaru, Momo, Inui and Kaido seemed to think that Echizen would eventually tell them what was bothering him and left it at that, not wasting time to ponder on it.

Momo invited Echizen to eat together at the burger joint after practice that afternoon and somehow ever regular tagged along. On their way to the burger joint, the road was blocked due to a car accident so they had to walk around the block. Ryoma was walking at the back of the group next to, strangely, Fuji Syuusuke. There was silence between the two as they walk but it was a comfortable silence.


	5. To hope

Note: several things are quoted from a book and I do not own the characters from Prince of Tennis, only the plot is mine.

I hope it's at least starting to get interesting. It took me quite a while to come up with something. Please enjoy, comment and give me tips on how I could improve on my writing! :)

**5. **

**To hope**

Hope is part of our life force.

Never surrender hope.

We know life comes in cycles.

And an upturn can just be around the corner.

Hope helps us struggle through the desperate times.

It guides us though the dark.

Around the corner of the street they saw the burger joint again and the boys hurriedly walk towards it, their stomach grumbling from hunger. They walk passed a musical instrument store that made Ryoma jerked a little when she first noticed it. She quickly came to walk on another side of Fuji, wanting to be as far away from the horrid store as possible. Fuji sempai gave her a raised eye brow but did not ask anything.

Ryoma was annoyed that she had shown too much emotions. She thought that she would have suppressed her emotions already; it has been almost a year. She strangely been feeling annoying emotions since she found out that their captain played the flute and Fuji plays the cello when Momo brought the topic of music up since he was going to perform a guitar with Kikumaru.

Why would boys aiming to be great tennis players even play musical instruments anyway? It was beyond her why they would but she couldn't say it out loud because it would be the pot calling the kettle black since she used to play the piano and violin before that incident...

Crap. Before she knew it was happening she was brought back in to her memories. Almost a year ago, the Echizen family were planning to celebrate their daughter's birthday on December 24 to cheer her up. Nanjirou and Rinko were flying in from America to see Ryoma after she had pleaded them to leave their vacation early to come see her performance in France. She was competing in the piano competition and nearly lost because her dress strap had snapped causing her a major deduction. She wanted to win this competition; it was her hope to become a successful musician. She had won many competitions and was called the prodigy and this would have been her eighth consecutive win.

She was stressed and wanted her parents with her, not knowing that the flight they took heading to Paris would get hijacked and crash landed in the Atlantic ocean. The call that Ryoma pleaded her parents crying was the last conversation she ever had with her parents. She was selfish, and it caused her parents to die. If she hadn't failed herself in that competition then her parents wouldn't have to worry about her, got on that plane and die in the plane crash. Her passion and selfishness for music had caused her parents' death. It was all her fault. The following days were her worst. It rained heavily as if the sky were to mock her of her sorrow, throwing down bullets of water at her and strikes her heart with lighting and thunder, her 12th birthday was her worst and it hurts to remember.

Tears came to her eyes and she was once again reminded that she wasn't sitting alone. She notice some of the regulars looking at her strangely and she quickly got up and excuse herself to go home before the tear in her eye would fall.


	6. To make the first move

Note: several things are quoted from a book and I do not own the characters from Prince of Tennis, only the plot is mine.

Need to tell anyone who reads this that I can't guarantee a regular upload because I can only write when ideas come to mind, which is random. I'll try my best and make it a routine for myself to write regularly, school work and all that. :) Enjoy!

**6. **

**To make the first move**

Winners have plans.

Take the initiative.

Be bold.

The risks are higher.

But so are the rewards.

Tezuka, Fuji and Kaido had seen the pool of water in Echizen's eye after him blanking out suddenly after arriving at the burger joint. Now thier kouhai left them and that made them even worried about his welfare. Fuji excused himself and went to follow the fast disappearing figure. The other regulars hope Fuji could do something about Echizen. Something was definitely off about the ochibi recently.

Followed Ryoma home and was going to leave when he notice the other boy walking hurriedly out of the door again, now without his tennis bag and school bag and had changed in to a more comfortable clothing which looked rather feminine to Fuji. He left his own bag behind the fence and follows his kouhai curiously to see where he was going.

Ryoma suddenly remembered to buy groceries back today and went to the nearby super market to buy necessary things. She picks up the kart and proceeds to buy fresh fruits and vegetables. She stops by the drinks section and grab a 24 pack of grape ponta and 2 gallons of milk while ticking off the list on her mind. She passed the toiletries section and grabs a couple of sanitary pads for this month's and then went to buy more food.

Fuji was still following Echizen and finds the boy considering what meat to buy more even though the kart was almost full. Echizen mumbled to himself about the health concerns and fat. He was even more surprised earlier when his kouhai had bought sanitary pads which he remembered from seeing when he went shopping with his sister. He had been suspecting this for quite some time that Echizen Ryoma was a girl but this seem to confirm his thought since Ryoma mentioned that his cousin Nanako was away this week and a cocky boy like Echizen Ryoma wouldn't be caught dead buying such things.


	7. To ask for help

Note: several things are quoted from a book and I do not own the characters from Prince of Tennis, only the plot is mine.

New update~ Thank you for the review. I was very happy to see it. I'll work hard!

**7.**

**To ask for help**

When you really need help ask for it.

Don't let false pride hold you back.

It establishes a bond.

Later you can reciprocate.  
That's how great relationships are formed.

And maintained.

"Saaa what are you doing here buying such thing Ryo-chan?" Fuji said emphasizing on the last two words in his normal voice and smile pointing at the sanitary pad in the kart. Ryoma was startled to find Fuji sempai here. Crap, what should she do now? She's a rotten liar herself. "Be betsuni" she said as she gave him a pointed stare. Fuji chuckled "Common, you said Nanako's been at uni. Why would a boy want that anyways? I won't tell anyone, though I'm guessing Tezuka already knows. Saaa" He offered to help her carry her groceries home. She had refused at first because she hadn't really let anyone in to the house yet except for the Ryuuzaki.

And letting the tensai in to her house would be a definite no-no since he somehow figured out that she was a girl. Not that it was something major. She had thought at first that they would have seen through it earlier, it's almost been a year since she was hanging out closely, with the guys after all. There should be a limit of how dense the regulars are. She didn't act that much like a boy did she? But when Fuji pointed at the full kart Ryoma had only sighed and accept the offer realizing that she wouldn't be able to carry all those home alone.

Fuji discretely grabbed all the heavy bags himself and left the less heavy ones for Ryoma. She was grateful for the offer now because by the time they reach the Echizen household, her arms were in sore and her hands were red. She unlocked and pushes the gate open and then unlock the front door leaving it open for Fuji sempai.

Fuji followed Echizen in to her house and was impressed at the size. He looked around curiously and noticed several strange things around the house. The large shoe cabinet was almost empty. The wall had several frames missing recently from the different shade of the sun bleached wall. The kitchen was devoid of food. The washing line only has Ryoma's 15 year-old size clothes. The toilet doesn't seem to have many toiletries for such a large house and the house was a bit dusty in some of the rooms.

Echizen was busy lining up the pantry and fridge while she told Fuji sempai to rest in the living room when suddenly it started to pour down heavily. Fuji frowned mentally; he wouldn't be able to get home now that it rained this badly. The monsoon had caused it to rain suddenly like that for a couple of evenings in the past weeks already.

Ryoma's body tensed. She did not like the rain at all; especially a heavy rain likes this, because it would only mean there would be lighting and thunder. She hope the rain stops soon, it gets her moody when it rains. Fuji sempai came over in to the kitchen stating that it would probably rain for a long time and since there's no umbrella here he would be very happy to stay for dinner with 'Ryo-chan'. Ryoma gave him cold stare but it did not affect the tensai at all. She sigh out loud to let him hear it. She wasn't that cold to kick her sempai out of the house in to the rain, even though she was very much tempted to do so.


	8. To learn to cook

Note: several things are quoted from a book and I do not own the characters from Prince of Tennis, only the plot is mine.

I'm glad to tell that I will update it once to twice a week on a regular basis! Holiday is coming soon for me~ More time on this! (only if my teacher decides to give us smaller amount of homework) Good reading everyone :)

**8.**

**To learn to cook**

Open untouched worlds,

new sensations and cultures.

Become an entertainer.

Stimulate your creative juices.

Invent your own unique recipe.

Be a culinary explorer.

She made a simple curry, having Fuji do all the peeling cutting and washing of the vegetables he had never done before. She was going to give him a snicker when he casually peel and chop the vegetables like a house wife. He gave her his usual smile and proceed to help her make their dinner. Even though Fuji sempai seemed to know what he was doing, she decided that she would be the one to make the curry paste and do the seasoning knowing from experience with boys that most can't cook very well.

Fuji was looking at the new found side of his kouhai that he was lucky enough to see. Echizen was showing him another side of her and he liked it very much. She had her emerald green hair tied up in to a messy bun without her Fila cap and had a black apron on, tied around her waist with a bunny knot. It was relieving for Fuji to finally see his kouhai as a girl. At first he had doubted himself many times that he might not be straight after all. All those worries he did disappeared because now he was confirmed by the girl (via not denying) that she was indeed female.

He felt like he could breathe more easily, though angry at himself a bit because he knew that love comes in all form. He would have admitted to himself anyways that he had fallen for the first year even though Echizen Ryoma was a guy. His eyes went back to the new found girl in the white apron before him.

Ryoma felt an eye on her back as she was stirring the pot of curry in front of her. She ignored it and focused on the smell of the curry, not the feeling of Fuji's eye or the sound of the weather outside. Fuji was acting weird, but not any weirder than he normally is anyways. The guy could be deciding her death-by-embarrassment penalty or thinking about the number of framed pictures of Karupin in the house, she would never know. He was mysterious that way.

Dinner was served and the two sat on the dining table across each other. Fuji complemented Ryoma on the curry, noting it down to his brain to 'convince' Ryoma make him homemade meals more often. As the dinner progress, Fuji saw the increasing tension in the girl's features which were usually impassive. Once lighting cast a shadow upon the dining room, he noticed from his sharp eye that she tensed and fidgeted a little and her eyes were wide even though she had tried to hide. She flinched noticeably when thunder sounds and Fuji had a growing worry for Ryoma for her increasingly strange actions.


	9. To cry

**9. **

**To cry**

Sometimes it catches you unawares,

Tears welling up without warning,

No matter how long ago,

No matter how often,

If you have sadness and grief locked away,

It will eat away at you.

Let it out.

Release it.

Ryoma had Fuji wash the remaining dishes and decided to send Fuji home before her mood got worse. She went in to the store room to find an extra umbrella for Fuji. She was thinking about how she really should start forgetting these memories, but she could never get the guilt out of her mind.

*Thunder* *Thunder* "Kyaa!" Ryoma squatted down and pressed her hands against her ears, willing the horrible storm to end. Rain brought back so much memory and pain, she couldn't help it but started crying silently and hugging her knees with her elbows, head down, body scrunched up in to a ball. 'oka-san…oyaji…' sobbed Ryoma as the memories started overflowing breaking her mental barrier.

Fuji was very worried now, 'Where was Ryoma? It couldn't be that hard to find an umbrella, could it?'. He couldn't figure out why Ryoma was acting weird recently. He had some guesses but it didn't make sense. So far he could say that the house was very much unoccupied of adults.

'Was her parents on vacation somewhere? How could they leave their daughter alone, even if Nanako is here too but still…' his thoughts wondered around until he realized an agitated scratching sound nearby. Ryoma's cat Karupin was scratching the door of the storeroom down the hall intently. Fuji went there to stop the cat harming the door when he heard the sobbing through the door.

Fuji opened the door and found a figure sobbing on the ground. His normally closed eyes widen to reveal the piercing cerulean blue orbs behind it. His emotion was unreadable as he looks at the small figure shivering down on the floor. Fuji didn't know what had happened to cause the normally arrogant kouhai to be reduced to a pile of tears and sobs, but he reach down to hold the girl in his arms and murmured reassuring words in to her ears.

It breaks his heart to see someone as strong as Ryoma to be in this state. No one would ever be able to imagine the first year shed a tear, not to mention sob this bad. He vowed to himself to get his kouhai back to normal.

Fuji carried her princess style out of the store room once she cried herself to sleep up stairs to her bedroom. He tucked her in to her bed and was debating to himself whether he should stay to watch over her. He already knew the answer and mentally smiled at what he was going to do. Certain things are more important. He texted his sister to tell her that he won't be coming home tonight.


	10. To cuddle

HI YAH~ new chapter here! I'm on the last day of school heading towards my Easter holidays :)

Thank you for all the reviews, enjoy the chapter and I'll update again soon!

Note: several things are quoted from a book and I do not own the characters from Prince of Tennis, only the plot is mine.

**10.**

**To cuddle **

Life without touch is hollow.

Cuddles transmit love.

They give warmth. And hope. And trust.

The feelings flow back and forth.

It can even safe a life.

"Oka-san… Oyaji… don't leave… me… a alone…"

Fuji heard the girl mumble in her sleep, pain visible on her voice. She slept in a fetal position, curled up on her bed, scrunching up the blanket that Fuji had pulled over her. He sat on the edge of the bed with a very concerned and unsure of what to do because Fuji had never really been in a situation like this. Seeing his crush break down like that had made him think of how much about Ryoma he didn't know, the part of her that she kept to herself never telling anyone, not even the regulars.

She must have been so lonely; he thought and patted her head reassuringly.

"I'm sorry… it's my fault… my fault…" she repeated those words in her sleep.

Fuji climb on to the bed softly next to the sleeping Ryoma, unable to hold his urge to hold the broken down girl in his arms and make sure that everything was going to be alright for his love.

He sat against the wall and brought Ryoma's head up gently on to his lap and cuddled her. He said very reassuring words to her softly, even though she might not hear it.

Gently, he pulled her up against his chest, feeling her small body frame against his. Ryoma was sleeping with her back against Fuji's chest, unknowingly cuddling in the warmth she unconsciously wanted so much.

Eventually Fuji fell asleep, only to be woken up a couple of hours later in the middle of the night by the slight movement that Ryoma made to get herself comfortable after she woke up. They looked in to each other's eyes for a long moment and Fuji felt like the time had frozen when his eyes landed on the mesmerising golden irises.

He smiled to her fondly, one of the rare smiles he reserved only for her. He noticed the rim of her eyes, red from the tears but she looks adorable none the less.

Ryoma spoke first "What are you doing on my bed Fuji sempai?" she said it in a straight voice, no longer quivering.

Fuji arched an eye brow at the question. "Saaa.. Who knows? …So would you mind telling me what happened?" he asked seriously while looking in to her golden red rimmed eyes.

Ryoma saw the determination and resolve in the other boy's cerulean eyes and knew she couldn't lie to him after having shown him the weak side of her. The wall that the male Echizen Ryoma had erected around himself to protect the weak little girl inside was broken by the lighting strikes and stress it has been taken upon its weight.

She knew that no amount of her attempted rotten lie would convince him. The boy was neither stupid nor deaf at the sounds of her sobbing earlier that evening. She knew she could trust the regulars, but she could never bring the courage out to say it.

She was scared that they would hate her and blamed her as well that she was the reason she was now an orphan. She hated the pity in other people's eyes, the 'sorry' they all said to her and the looks they gave her.

But could the feeling in her gut be right again this time? When she looked in to his beautiful blue eyes, somehow, she had a feeling that those eyes were showing neither pity nor disdain. Those clear blue eyes showed her something that made her felt so warm inside and made her heart pump strangely irregularly. It showed her affection, devotion and …love?


	11. To tell the truth

Another chapter here :) Happy Easter Sunday to you guys! Thanks for all the support 3

Note: several things are quoted from a book and I do not own the characters from Prince of Tennis, only the plot is mine.

**11. **

**To tell the truth **

Lies are a burden.

They entangle us and weigh us down.

Truth always fights to break out.

It is not worth the struggle.

Telling the truth clears the air.

Lifts the burden.

Liberates.

She knew that this was the moment when things might change. It might not be for the better but it was another path she could take instead of continuing on this miserable path. The look from his eyes gave her strength she never knew she had to confess her most inner feelings.

She stuttered at first, but eventually, everything spilled out, starting with her former dream of becoming a pianist, the performance, the phone call, the hijacked plane and the endless tears that followed afterwards. Her words choked between sobs as her tears rained down her beautiful face once again.

"S-Senpai, i-it was my f-fault they got on that p-p-plane. I can no-no longer play the p-pi-piano without feeling, remembering, _seeing_ their faces in m-my mind." Ryoma cried.

Fuji listened intently at the broken words of the little girl in his lap. He was able to patch up the words and make sense of everything. He hugged her tighter as she sob on to the crook of his neck and pouring out all her sorrow, guilt and loneliness she felt all this time.

He never even suspected that the girl had so many burdens on her shoulders. She had never revealed it to anyone none-the-less even show it. That made him irritated at the idiot who tried so hard to act cool but really was just a normal girl on the inside who needed someone to comfort and lean on occasionally.

Strangely, it made him happy that he was the first person that she trusted to tell everything to, but also sad that it didn't happen earlier. He sighed, really this girl, she never showed any sign that something was wrong, and yet that just show how strong she is too.

Ryoma was grateful of the warmth. She was grateful that he didn't judge her, didn't say the words of 'I am sorry for you lost' or 'Don't blame yourself, it's not your fault'.

She was grateful to that he was just there for her, silently supporting her when she felt her worst. She felt like the heavy burden was lifted off her shoulders for a moment. Ryoma felt like she could breathe in the warm sun again.

He hugged her even tighter than before, if that was even possible, hoping that his body gestures would show her how much he truly cared, and wish that she would stop crying and return to be the Ryoma everyone became so fond of.

He swore to himself that he would help her no matter what. It wasn't a given because he knew it himself how much he like, no, love the emerald haired girl. He wasn't going to leave things at this. He was going to heal her injured heart even though it takes his whole life to do so.


	12. To fall in love

HEHEHE~ new update o !

Reviews much appreciated so please review for me 3

Note: several things are quoted from a book and I do not own the characters from Prince of Tennis, only the plot is mine.

**12. **

**To fall in love**

Open your heart.

(Its' not easy but it's essential)

How will love enter if our heart is closed?

Look ahead for love, not behind.

Love is waiting.

Don't chase it.

Be yourself.

Be open to possibilities.

Love will find you.

It was late in the morning when Ryoma woke up. She looked towards her clock on her wall and realised that it was nearly 10 o clock.

Urgh, she was going to get a scolding from the teacher if she shows her face at school at this time, not to mention the laps she'll get from Tezuka-buchou for missing the morning practice! She was moving herself back in to the covers of her bed and try to forget about the terrible fate waiting for her at school, when she finally notice another figure beside her sleeping soundly.

Blood rushed to her face at the close proximity and the memories of last night. She had been unconsciously cuddling with Fuji-sempai. How did it end up with both of them sleeping on the bed again? He had his arms around her still and was sleeping with no care of the outside world.

She looked at his angelic feminine sleeping face and felt her own flush even further, remembering more the embarrassing things they did yesterday that made her heart pound fast. Nobody had given her a hug in so long, and it felt so good coming from him… Huh? Where did that thought come from? Weird.

The feeling was definitely different form having Kikumaru sempai glompped her or when Momo senpai slings his arms around her shoulders. Fuji was warm and gave a sense of security. She did not want to let go.

That made Ryoma realised that Fuji sempai was special to her. Not that she'd tell the other out loud. The fact that they were never really close at school but she would always find him there, magically beside her when she needed someone, made him kindda special she guessed.

Sometime she thought that maybe the tensai was stalking her to find something interesting to black mail but it didn't seem to be the case. Lately she noticed that Fuji was looking at her from the corner of her eyes, though his expressions were the same as always, it made her face heat up slightly because he was looking at her so intently.

Ryoma was never afraid of the crowd or the stares from people, but Fuji seemed to be an exception lately. He's been making her blush unintentional lately from the little things he did for her. Ryoma's heart went _doki_ at the thought and caught herself smiling.

Could it be?... Was it possible that she was getting soft on her sempai? These feelings are so new to her that she wasn't really sure what it was. Hmm….

Still deep in thoughts, Ryoma laid on the bed. Looking at the other presence beside her, Ryoma felt happy, warm and safe. So she simply dismiss the confusing thoughts (and the previous thoughts of getting up to go to school) and snuggle herself back in to the space where his arms fit her body perfectly.

Ryoma was drifting back to sleep again when Fuji woke up. He looked in to the large golden eye of the small figure in his arms and smiles his rare smile warmly when he felt the crimson face beneath him squirm and the undeniable pounding of her heart that he could feel through his body.

They stayed like that for some time until the sounds of stomach rumbling came out of nowhere. The two cheeks coloured and a meek smile came on their faces, noting the time and the empty stomach. Not eager to let go but needed to do so, they slowly untangled themselves and got out of bed.

Ryoma was still blushing and told Fuji that she would be going to shower and he could use the one across the corridor. She handed some of her father's old clothes to him and a towel and went in to her own bathroom to refresh herself up and think things through and slow her increasing heart rate.


	13. To face your fears

Note: several things are quoted from a book and I do not own the characters from Prince of Tennis, only the plot is mine.

I AM TERRIBILY SORRY. I'm sorry, i got caught in to my 'holiday mode' and kinda forgot to update. *shameful face on*. On the happier note, i read through alot of fanfiction stories and I feel SO HAPPY. Sad a bit that holiday is over (today is the last day).

Well, enough about me. Happy reading.

**13. **

**To face your fears**

Until you do, you remain in chains.

Never underestimate your courage.

Be positive in your approach.

If necessary, take it in stages.

Often your hear is out-dated,

or based on a misunderstanding or misapprehension.

Once you break the spell, you're free.

Look it straight in the eye.

Back yourself.

Ryoma made a Japanese breakfast for them both after Fuji decided that they would skip school today since they were already late and considering the last night's event. Fuji didn't feel that he should let Ryoma go just yet. Ryoma seemed happier after last night.

She truly felt better and was glad that she had finally told someone about the feelings she's been keeping since the time her parents passed away. It still hurts terribly, but knowing Fuji, she believes that he would be the one to help her out of her misery. His loving presence had already started to heal her confidence and resolve.

Fuji already texted his sister yesterday's evening that he would be staying at his friend's house and already informed the school about the two of them missing school. He told the secretary that Echizen had fallen ill and he was taking care of him at his house. No questions were asked further and that made the tensai smile mentally. Knowing a weakness of others is simply an advantage on his side. Convenient.

He called Tezuka while Ryoma was cooking breakfast. "Hey, morning Tezuka. I'm calling to tell you that we were very sorry to miss the practice this morning and to give a good excuse before you kill us with laps the next time we show our faces." He said in his normal voice. The captain grunted in reply.

He explained to Tezuka about last night and told him that he would take care of 'Ryo-chan' until she gets better. Tezuka sends his well-wishes of "Keep your guard up" and hope that his 1st year regular gets better soon.

Fuji told him that he would text in again if they were coming to the afternoon practice or not depending on how it goes with Ryoma. Tezuka understood, knowing that Echizen needs her time off and told Fuji not to worry. Tezuka will inform the other regulars that Ryoma is 'sick' at home and does not want to be disturbed because he was obviously well cared for.

Ryoma was quiet throughout the entire breakfast. Fuji was watching her from the corner of his eyes and saw her took a deep breath and saw the determination shine through her golden eyes once again. He looked up to face her and saw that she was back to her old self. At least it looks like it.

"Ne Syuu…" she said slowly as if to test how the name sounded on her lips. She liked it and continued on the same slow pace.

"I think I need to face it and come in to terms with my past. I miss music in my life." She said, looking at Syuusuke for a respond.

Ryoma know that it's time to change. She cannot possibly be moping around like that forever. She wants to start anew, with Syuusuke beside her. She's not going to face her fears alone anymore, it feels better to have someone beside you to back you up, someone that is beside even when you are at your worst.

Fuji smiled at the use of his name and replied in a soft sweet voice "Yes I think that would be great. I'll be here beside you no matter what. So don't be afraid anymore because if something goes wrong, I'll be right next to you."

He smiled a genuinely at her, revealing a beautiful warm face and clear blue eyes. She never realised before, but when he truly smiles, it's like the whole room brightens up all at once. When he's like that she truly feels strength coursing through her. She felt like she could take on the world and fight through all her fears. And she knows that he was going to be beside her through it all.


End file.
